Groundhog day

Sometimes life takes unexpected turns. Or maybe we just turn the wrong way and God makes His will known? Either way the experience is anything but pleasant. Filled with pain and grief as well as a bunch of confusion about sums up the concoction of feelings.

The power comes when you begin to embrace the turns and stop trying to maneuver your way through His will. It won't work and believe me you do not always have to be intelligent enough to understand it. Even if you finally figure it out... it still takes obedience on your part to be willing to accept it.

Sitting there you may think well if it is God's will of course you accept it. How could you not? Well I need to be honest and share that although I may also think those thoughts, thinking and acting upon them are two completely different things.

Have you ever watched the movie Groundhog day with Bill Murray? It is a movie that as my life goes on I can actually begin to relate with. The whole process of living out each day again and again until you finally get it right is what we as Christians do on a daily basis. Maybe most people get it faster than me, I am not sure but I do know it continues to be a challenge to change the behavior or circumstance God continues to bring me through.

When I think about what I have seen others endure I feel selfish in my thoughts for their path and turns have been more bitter sweet than anything I have ever endured. We each have watched others suffer and often times tried our best to understand their pain and yet can not even come close to empathizing with it.

We have the best interests at heart but the question remains, is that God's interest? It appears I have learned the hard way often times it is not. Grief is a hard lesson to learn, the pain is intense and the idea and often times the prayer of please Lord let this be a dream ends with a bitter reality. It is not a dream. Life is really what is seems at this moment.

Finally embracing this is much harder than I ever conceived. It seems foolish to ever think a life change would some how be easy. But what I have found is that it is anything but easy. Often times it is the pain that brings you back to the only One who can take it away. Waiting on His perfect time to relieve it is often even harder. Here I am as a fellow Sister in Christ with arms lifted high, yet trembling at the thought of releasing it ALL to Him. Reminding myself that it is not the release that scares me but more my resistance to change. Here is to trying once again as a new day approaches. Can Groundhog day come to an end... only His time will tell.